LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT AGEING: Midlife Myths

This episode exposes the top 10 limiting beliefs that professional woman are having about ageing and how to redesign them to be more empowering than diminishing. 

I took a Christmas eve day afternoon when everyone in the home was napping to offer a quietly hosted podcast that helps listeners redesign disempowering beliefs they may have about ageing but may never know they even existed. 

Thanks for listening. Feel free to follow the Leadership Longevity conversation on LinkedIn as well.
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Transcript

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Welcome to The Healthy Aging coach podcast. I'm your coach Dianne Flemington. Well, hello tribe. It's that time of year. For those of you who are listening to the episode at the new release date, you'll notice that it is Christmas Eve. And I am pining away over here wondering what is the best way to serve the tribe today. So, before I was about to launch your big, beautiful Christmas gifts that you're aware of, I felt the best way to serve up the episodes that were coming, were to create an episode on limiting beliefs. Because if there's one thing that I feel my leadership coaching is prefaced on, it is usually breaking down a limiting belief that a lawyer, a health care professional, somebody in my FinTech leadership team who is dealing with. And when it comes to healthy aging, there are a plethora of these limiting beliefs, I was originally going to call them Mythbusters. But that just didn't seem to fit. So I'm gonna work through some of these. But the concept of the idea of this episode is for you to grab a pen and paper. And I'm going to walk you through an exercise, as I go through some of these limiting beliefs. What I want you to do is just take note of anything that shows up as true for you, some are gonna probably feel a little ridiculous, and some might feel really heavy and hard. And some of you may be thinking, gosh, I can't believe she just said that. But we're all different. And we're all doing our aging journey from a different place with different perspectives. So let's just hold that as our core in this episode today. So the first one I want to consider is, the limiting belief that I hear is, I'm too old to make significant changes in my health. Like, at some point, people actually think that they can't do that anymore. So where I would like you to look around is in your environment of friends and family around you. Who do you notice my hold that belief? And do you hold it yourself? I want you to consider what what might be having substantiate that belief for you. Or maybe this is one that has gone unchallenged or maybe even unnoticed. Because the fact is that, and through tons of new medical research, now we get that we can change our brains, we can change our muscles in our body well into our 80s and 90s. There's all these updates in medicine. And I'm a little fearful that we're not getting those updates. However, that's another story. So an example of an empowering belief that you may want to replace it with is, you know, wisdom and experience propelled transformation. I mean, it sounds very ideological, but the maybe it's just, I'm never too old to make significant changes in my health. I'd really prefer each of you have that kind of statement going on. And I felt like that I'm too old to make significant changes in my health statement was, though rare in my coaching conversations, it feels when I'm around and doing work or contribution work with people who are in their 80s or older. I hear that a lot more. So one that I want us to stop in its tracks and deal with at a younger age. Let's get on it. All right. So limiting belief, or number two is, I don't have time for self care work is my top priority. I probably should have started with this one. Because I don't actually think people want to live that way. Unless it's a coping mechanism for them. And even that we know is not healthy. But just notice if you are maybe using work as a coping mechanism, and that you're telling yourself you don't have time for self care. I would assume that you would tell yourself this because you haven't taken the time to think about your future self. What you're actually doing working towards and when you want to be a healthy person by the time you actually get to that goal. So consider switching the I don't have time for self care, work is my top priority, switching that belief, limiting belief to an empowering belief by prioritizing self care fuels my professional excellence, because we do know that when we pay attention to, you know, the seven influencers, and for those of you who might be new listeners, go back to the first podcast, and you can download the PDF, the seven influencers for healthy aging. We know that health and well being can generate excellence with better brain power and physical power. And we knew all the elements are in there. So this can be an easier one to address. Number three, genetics determine my health destiny, and I can't change that. So perhaps maybe five or more years ago, maybe even 10 or more years ago, I would have agreed with that. But we know now that our health is associated with only 10% of our genetics, and even some of that can be transformed and repaired. So let's not be using that as a limiting belief anymore. And what might be one that you can transform that to, you know, genetics determine my healthy destiny, and I can't change that. What might you change that one to, perhaps my choices shape my health, regardless of my genetics. Now we have limiting belief number four, were healthy eating is too complicated and time consuming. And you know, there is pieces of this I can make room for when I am working with professional moms who are trying to do 20,000 different things in the morning, including spending time with their kids and prepping meals, and just avoiding eating themselves. So we all talk about planning our eating in order to eat healthy. And I just want to check in to ensure that this isn't one that we're actually sitting in an unconscious place that we're not dealing with, are you using that healthy eating is too complicated and time consuming as a limiting belief. You know, maybe a new empowering belief could be nourishing my body is simple and enjoyable. And take the pressure off a little bit. Notice how stating that new empowering belief might feel a load off. limiting belief number five, stress is unavoidable. I just have to cope with it. Yeah, and if you're like me, you probably don't cope with stress in the most healthy way all the time, do my best and especially when it can be stress that is outside of our locus of control. Sometimes our coping mechanisms can take us off the rails. So what is your belief about stress? Is it unavoidable? Do you just have to cope with it? We know that there is a plethora of stress management techniques out there and in fact, some of the podcasts that are being released for gifts for you through the holidays, you'll hear some of these techniques, so be sure to stay tuned. Checking in on the podcast. Consider the empowering belief to be you know, I can manage stress and create balance would be a lighter way of holding the fact that stress is unavoidable. It's such a big overgeneralization feels even heavy to say. So I can manage stress and create balance is a much lighter way and opens up your brain and attitude to perhaps practice some of the stress management techniques that you've learned. limiting belief number six. I'm too busy to engage in regular physical activity. Yes, we are all very busy, busy has become the new word or actually the word the only word that sightsee sheets us to feel like we're up to something. It's not to say that you're not busy. But we use it to general and I feel like the more specific we can be in what we're up to the better plan we can be. But in terms of physical activity, this purely comes down to prioritization. What you're trying to create for yourself and planning. So maybe a new empowering belief you might have is exercise is an investment in my long term well being So some of the future work, future self work that we do inside the Healthy Aging coach tribe can support this thinking. limiting belief number seven is I've tried everything, nothing works for my health issues. Oh, gosh, everything. You've tried everything. Wow, there's a lot of things that you could do out there to improve your health. And you've tried everything that when there just has no value to me whatsoever. So pick something pick any positive statement to stick against that one. Perhaps every setback is a stepping stone to success. Maybe that's a far reach. But maybe there's one thing that a friend or family could recommend that you'd be willing to try open mindedly letting go of a fixed mindset of that you've tried everything, perhaps, and accepting that maybe there's more to try. limiting belief number eight, I can't ask for help, I should handle everything on my own voice. So there seems to be a commonality am with the people that I work with around the ability to ask for help. It influences their perception at work, they feel like it makes them seen as incapable or weak or incompetent, or needy are so many different things. However, asking for help is a powerful place to come from it's especially when it's done in a thoughtful, you've done your work upfront, you've used as many resources as you can access, now's the time to ask for help. So perhaps a new empowering belief might be asking for help is a sign of strength. And I'm a true believer of that. limiting belief number nine, aging means inevitable decline in health. Okay, so this one's a bit sticky for me. Because we do know that aging is actually well, in today's science, they're calling it a disease. We are all going to age and have that inevitable ending. However, how we age is up to us. So aging means inevitable decline in health. Is that true? Really? How about a new limit about a new empowering belief, Aging Gracefully with optimal health? changing your mindset around how you're going to age will inevitably affect the actions that you take. So here's a one here's one statement or one limiting belief to I fully recommend you change. The last limiting belief number 10. I don't deserve to prioritize myself. It's selfish. Well, what if you don't prioritize yourself? Can you continue on this lifelong path of putting everybody in front of you? What? What's that diminished? You look like at the very end of all this? How, how long do you actually want to live for? And what does that you look like after giving all of you to everybody else? So what about changing that limiting belief to something along the lines of, you know, self care as a gift to myself and those around me, it always makes me think of that story where or that exercise they do on the plane where you have to pull down the oxygen mask first, give it to yourself, and then help those around you. This very much fits this limiting belief statement. So I really just want to spend these last couple minutes before I let you go and enjoy your holidays. Or if you've already had them, reflect on them. Notice the relationships around you and do a little exercise. The exercise requires you to complete this statement five times. So what I want you to do is ask yourself, I believe aging is and fill in the statement. And I want you to fill that out five times. And notice when you're complete, what's the theme? What showed up for you? What are you noticing in the I believe aging is? Is it positive? Is it high energy? Are you looking forward to it? Does it feel like there's lots of negativity in there and how you responded was it I expected you to respond? The next piece I want you to jump into with that exercise is to look at where am i You have learned some of these beliefs from do any of them surprise you? Do any of them create anxiety or fear? And which one will you take and rework right away? Because if they're not empowering you then they're diminishing you and we do not want that. So do your work too. establish where you learn them from and do a recreate an empowering statement around the limiting belief. And as always, I wanted to express gratitude for your dedication to your personal and professional growth. And go off and create a fantastic 2024 Man, we'll catch you on the next episode. And don't forget to download all those bonuses. Merry Christmas.